Ponder This…
Sunday, June 15th, 2008On the first day, God created the dog and said:
‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or
walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’
The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years
and I’ll give [...]
Advice From An Old Tennessee Mountain Man
Sunday, June 15th, 2008
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Everybody needs a little humor in their life. But some people need a lot!
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears [...]
Decoding Dictionary
Saturday, June 14th, 2008DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:
* 40-ish…………………………….49.
* Adventurous……………………..Slept with everyone.
* Athletic…………………………..No breasts.
* Average looking…………………Moooo.
* Beautiful………………………..Pathological liar.
* Emotionally Secure………………On medication.
* Feminist………………………….Fat.
* Free Spirit………………………..Junkie.
* Friendship first………… ………Former Slut.
* New-Age…………………………Body hair in the wrong places.
* Old-fashioned…………………..No B.J.’s
* Open-minded…………………….Desperate.
* Outgoing…………………………Loud and embarrassing.
* Professional………………………Witch.
* [...]
Old Maxine Humor
Friday, June 13th, 2008
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