‘Twas the Night Before Elections
Saturday, November 1st, 2008‘Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!
I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.
When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys
They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To [...]
Colorado Calling…Can you hear me now?
Monday, October 13th, 2008How many bars do you have???
Maxine - Joke
Saturday, August 2nd, 2008They Walk Among Us
Thursday, July 24th, 2008I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up a $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated [...]
Once Upon A Time
Sunday, July 13th, 2008Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry
me?’ The girl
said:’NO!’ And the girl lived happily ever after
and went shopping,
dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house,
never
had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never
argued, didn’t
get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn’t save
money, and had
all the hot water to [...]
How To Get Screwed When You’re Not Looking…
Thursday, July 10th, 2008
John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers
(hens), called ‘pullets,’
and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records,
and any rooster not performing
went into the soup pot
and was replaced.
This took a lot of time,
so he bought some tiny bells
and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone,
so he could [...]
Dogs Know…
Tuesday, July 8th, 2008
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Have you ever heard that a dog ‘knows’ when an earthquake is about to hit?
Have you ever heard that a dog can ’sense’ when a tornado is stirring up, even 20 miles away?
Do you remember hearing that before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at [...]
For The Ladies
Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
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Thanks Jess for sending me this…..
Glossary of Horse Terms
Monday, June 30th, 2008
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Hock: Financial condition of all horse owners.
Stall: What your rig does at rush hour in an unfamiliar city on the way to a big trail ride.
A Bit: What you have left in your pocket after you’ve been to your
favorite tack shop.
Fence: Decorative structure built to provide your horse with something to chew on.
Horse [...]
Don’t Step on a Duck
Tuesday, June 24th, 2008
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Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, [...]
